Death by Caffeine

If you ever wondered how many cans of Red Bull it would take to kill you, then there is an internet tool that might help.

The website Energy Fiend has a Death by Caffeine Calculator which will answer your every musing on the topic of weight vs. caffeine overdose. It includes everything with caffeine in it, from Sprite to No-Doz to Starbucks.

It would take 2,340 Penguin Mints to kill me. Neat.

Required Reading

Today in the NY Times there is an op-ed by seven soldiers stationed in Iraq. It should be required reading for every senator and congressperson.

The claim that we are increasingly in control of the battlefields in Iraq is an assessment arrived at through a flawed, American-centered framework...

We are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day...

Four years into our occupation, we have failed on every promise...

What hits me the hardest in this piece is that these military "grunts" (their word, not mine) speak more eloquently, truthfully, and factually and realistically than anyone I have heard yet.

They close the letter with a line that I think is most important of their message:

We need not talk about our morale. As committed soldiers, we will see this mission through.

Translation: All you assholes saying that telling the TRUTH about where we are in this quagmire is bad for troop morale are full of shit and you offend us with your condescension.

The question is, will anyone listen?

Elijah vs. Baseball, Bond and Steroids

My eight-year-old god son (of "I don't have any trouble with the word vagina" fame) is obsessed with baseball. I wondered the other day how he was feeling about Barry Bonds breaking the home run record. Yesterday, I got this email which he sent to the editor of the Seattle PI and it answered my question.

Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2007 8:00 AM
To: Opinion
Subject: Letter to the Editor re: Barry Bonds from Elijah, 8 years old

Dear Editor,

I really think Barry Bonds has been cheating when he broke the home run record. Why is Barry Bonds getting all of this attention? He was definitely on steroids. Why are you letting all of this crud get past you? Alex Rodriguez is not on drugs, he isn't using a corked bat. He's a nice guy and I don't know if Barry Bonds is but I'd much rather Alex Rodriguez break the home run record than Barry Bonds. Hank Aaron didn't use steroids to break Babe Ruth's record and I think it's very nice for Hank Aaron to call Barry Bonds on the phone. But Barry Bonds didn't break the home run record because he was most likely on drugs.

Sincerely,

Elijah Gold Newman
8 years old

I have no opinion whatsoever about Bonds. But Elijah's ire is hard to resist. Well put, 'Lij. Why are they letting all that crud get past them?

Pictures in Sqaures

This is a fun tool -- Mosaic Maker -- I've been playing around with it and putting some stuff on Flickr. You can do it by URL or tag or set.

Here's a mosaic of our wedding and celebration:

That settles it...

...we need a bigger fridge.

The only problem I see here (besides the fact that we will have to work very hard to eat all this by next week) is that the vino verde is burried somewhere down under the three heads of lettuce.This represents ONE WEEK of Jon's free produce take home from work. We'll never have to buy veg or fruit again.

Locally Grown Pie

Jon's new job has provided us with a gorgeous box of fresh organic produce each week. Right now blueberries are plentiful and have great texture and taste with just the right amount of tart and sweet. The last batch came from Many Hands in Rockport, Washington. Our apple trees in the back yard are also yielding a fantastic crop of super-crispy tart apples right now. I have been working hard and getting creative to find ways to use everything. The result last night was this:

Apple Blueberry Pie
Served warm with vanilla ice cream on top. Can I get an amen?

Georgetown Lunches

I wasn't expecting too much, but I was pleasantly surprised with the lunch Jon and I had at Kurry King today (5503 Airport Way South, Seattle, WA). The proprietress doesn't know much English except numbers and "You want taste?" but whatever she offers you, say yes and you will be happy. They offer a globe-trotting variety of curries (and some non-curry items) that are not super spicy or unique, but for the price are really quite a deal. We tried everything and then settled on masman and panang, both with chicken. Lunch for two (two kinds of curry, rice, iced teas and a spring roll) came to $15.00 with tax and tip. Ever since Jon got hired at Pioneer Organics we have been exploring Georgetown with really great results. Today: SmartyPants!

Effin' Awesome Magnets

As Part II of my "Effin' Awesome" series (which wasn't a series until today), I give you handmade magnets by my very best friend, Krista! Seriously, check these out:
They are so pretty and come four to a tin. Krista runs a small studio called Gallimaufry Arts in Amador City, California. She is a self-described "mostly stay-at-home-mom" who has worked really hard to get her art out there. I opened her e- newsletter (subscribe here) this morning and knew I needed a set (or two!). Support independent art! Check out her shop, it's effin' awesome.

Museum of Unnatural History

Jon and I went to Walla Walla last weekend. My sister-in-law and her boyfriend have opened a great little fresh fish market called A Fish on Land, they offer Walla Walla's freshest fish and oysters and other seafood delights. During lunch they serve really amazing fish and chips. The town was fine. Cute. Quaint. Small town-y. I couldn't live there, but it was nice to visit and go to the farmer's market and drive around to the wineries. I thought I had Walla Walla figured out and then we found the absolute highlight of the trip: the Museum of Unnatural History located at the Black Door Gallery on the town's quaint little main street.

We found the three-room museum in the upstairs of a bank building and walked, unsure into a black door that said, "Open." There, a bearded older man stood looking at his guestbook. After gasping and gaping and being delighted with just the entryway's displays, I asked him if he was the artist. He replied, "Yes, if you call this art, I am the artist."

Well, it is art and the artist is Gerald Matthews. While we were there he sat quietly on what looked like a very old director's chair, green accounting-style visor obscuring his eyes. When we asked him questions he didn't say more than was necessary. He seemed almost zen however, an air of "crotchety" swirled around him, that of an old man so mad at the establishment, if he started talking about it he might never stop ranting. His art is a mix of collage, sculpture, folk art and pop culture. A small sampling of the pieces includes decrepit dolls' bodies arranged in shadow boxes with tiny animal skulls, a tray of antique keys, tiny cut-outs of the Bush administration's faces put on oldy-timey clown figurines, clay angels with clunky big feet. The pieces are wry, creepy, political and bizarre. He was very friendly and humble and asked Jon to send his digital pictures if he didn't mind.

I asked him if he ever sells his art and he pointed to the wall of framed photos hanging in background of the picture shown here and said, "I sold those ones and have been trying ever since to get them back. There's no reason to sell! The only reason would be for my ego and these pieces couldn't fetch a price around here to do anything for that for me, so no. I don't sell anything." As much as there are several pieces that I would be eager/proud/lucky to own if he ever sold anything, I kind of like the idea of this genius hiding upstairs of the bank and being the coolest part of Walla Walla.

Here's me -- Simpsons style - UPDATE

I have to admit I am totally sucked in by the Simpsons Movie hype. The website is awesome and Jon and I went to the Kwik-E-Mart a few weeks ago. Here I am drawn as a Simpsons character: (And Jon made one too!!)

Effin' Awesome Dinner

This is the dinner we had a few nights ago when it was too hot to cook and too hot to even go outside and grill -- I call it the salami salad sandwich thing:


Ciabatta rolls toasted
Coppa salami ripped into bite-sized pieces
Organic tomatoes sliced
Red onions sliced
Two fistfuls of Arugula
A small handful of toasted pine nuts
Goat Cheese

Spread goat cheese on the toasted bread
Pile all other ingredients on top -- include a few chunks of goat cheese here too
Drizzle with balsamic and really good olive oil
Sprinkle with flake sea salt and fresh ground pepper

It reminded me of our Italy trip last year, which we were just coming home from around now. In Tuscany especially, we had been keyed into the simplicity of a few good ingredients combined well. This sandwich is a perfect example of that.

It's not that she's a woman, it's that she's an idiot!

Rebecca Traister writes over at Salon.com about Katie Couric's interview in New York Magazine.

I could go on and on about the interview with Katie, but instead I want to comment on Traister's reaction to it. She writes that Katie's public candor about the fears she has and questions she's asking herself with regard to her career move aren't helping to bolster her ratings. According to Traister, she needs to buck up and "grow a pair" and lie publicly that she loves her new career and it couldn't be going better. This is grossly Stepford Wivien and I couldn't disagree more. It will no more help Katie's ratings than putting her in a man's suit and calling her Olbermann. I will say, though, that Katie has made a career being falsely sincere and the people who enjoy Today are apparently stupid enough to fall for it. Traister's point might be that the time for bringing back the false sincerity might be now and it could reconnect her with the folks she left behind.

I would put forth that the reason that people aren't interested in watching Katie as CBS Newswoman is the same reason that no one calls Today a news program. It's not news. She is not a newswoman. We lost (if we ever had) respect for her because of the ridiculous sincerity she asked the hard questions such as, "Who CAN wear white before labor day?"over and over on Today. She did stories like, "Is your purse making you look fat?" and "Which is better, girls night in, or girls night out???!" These are not news. She interviewed grief stricken families involved in the tragedy-of-the-week -- from dead children to missing pets to a boat overturned that ruined our picnic on the water (wah!). All treated with the same false sense of urgency and importance and the implication that as Americans we should all care deeply about their loss/pet/picnic/whatever. These are not news stories.

The idea that a person like Katie could bring her spunky can-do attitude and "ball buster with a heart of gold" personality to change the evening news into something that more people want to watch -- that was the mistake. Katie can ask smart questions, be serious, stoic and real, but her popularity was based on the bubbly, giggling lady wearing the captain's hat while honking the ferry horn on the Today Show. I'm not sure people like Serious Katie. If the evening news was a popularity contest, she might be able to flash her million dollar smile and softball questions and win, but thankfully, apparently it's not.

Super Birthday Noodles

We went to the Holubs for my birthday. Ellen was so kind as to prepare an awesome Asian BBQ spread that ruled. One of the items was a cold noodle salad that used the Super Birthday Noodles, of course.

The text from the package is awesome in that horrible badly translated way. Spelling and punctuation taken verbatim.

Features of the HF Handmade Birthday Noodles:

This Handmade Birthday Noodles, transferred from Fukien,china to Taiwan here, followed a secrect recine handed down from generation to generation, Continuously has been improved better the standard in quality&formulated with 4 seasonal salt solution in a rateable saltiness, is the best handmade noodles for the birthday greeting use and being namely as "Birthday Noodles," Fairly economical and Good benefit,Elegant&in good taste.Not only being a necessity for the Sacrifices offering to God.Birthday greeting, and Baby in Month old but also suitable better to make soup as snack in a delicious taste.We solemnly recomend it and appreciate you to tell every one its features.

They did have rateable saltiness and the features were great.

Sicko

Cross posted from my movie blog:

Jon and I left this movie feeling really angry. As per his usual, Moore tries to make it funny, and entertaining, but we are in a dire situation in this country and it is already so out of hand that it will never be fixed.

Several people in the film are asked if we have any chance of catching up to the rest of the "westernized" world and providing free health care to all -- to take care of our citizens -- to have free house calls and free nannies for newborns and mandatory paid maternity leave -- but they all agree it is not possible. If we are sick and poor or out of work due to illness and beaten down then we won't worry that the government is wire-tapping, torturing and lying to us. That is how the US government wants us.

Even Barack, folks.

He too wants us scared and quiet.

Corporations own our health care system (which isn't a system at all!) and their employees get bonuses for denying coverage to sick people. Citizens of other countries can't believe that we would turn away people who cannot pay. Are we heartless? Cruel?

Yes and yes.

Planet Unicorn Heyyy

I was going to write a ranting post about how Mattel's plan to market masc-fucking-ara to little girls (because they aren't, apparently, sexy enough!?) pissed me off, but instead, I decided to post this video:

Wine Club!

Our friends the Holubs (of Movie Night with the Holubs) invited us about six months ago to take part in a wine/dinner club through Bonny Doon Winery. We eagerly accepted, just happy to do anything with the Holubs. They know a lot about wine and food and we are learning things like wine comes in "white."

There are four wine shipments in the year and each one comes with a detailed menu, info about the wines and suggestions on parings, tasting, etc.

The first shipment went to Ellen to work her magic. She prepared a "goddesses" menu with Hawaiian salad (avocado, guava, grapefruit vinaigrette) and Moroccan tagine (she actually has a tagine!) with lamb and squash and for dessert an Egyptian pomegranate baklava. There were wines with each course, and of course, I don't remember them, but they were GOOD!

Long story, short, tomorrow is my night to prepare the shipment's meal and serve the wines along side. I am attempting things which I haven't even EVER cooked before here, people. It's more than a little intimidating. I even had the produce guy at Whole Foods stumped.

The theme is perfect for us, but I won't say what or where in case the Holubs read this today. I'll let you know how it goes!

Less scary than the "Backpack Bandit"

The smiling idiots on King 5 this morning described a female bank robber who wears a pony tail as "Fashion conscious, armed and dangerous."

OMG! o.b.s r kewl!

I bought some o.b. tampons yesterday. When I got them home, I noticed something weird on the box:
There she (?) was, a little cartoon dog on the side of the box with flowers and in crayon-y writing it says, "visit hiobie.com" So I did.

This is what greeted me:


Holy shit. It appears that my tampon of choice has been officially co-opted by tweens. On the home page we can mouse over the various "rooms" and with each one, a little animated Obie (the dog) peeks out to join in the menstrual fun. We can go to school, the movies and my favorite place when I am on the rag: the mall!

What bothers me first: All the writing is dumbed down online-speak.

...and I was like, ttly, like, OMG! Did U, like, take the period test? U can learn that like, it's ttly norm if U get ur boobs before ur "little visitor"...if U have yours and U tell me, I swear I won't tell any1. Having ur period is so ttly embarrassing. OMG!

What bothers me next: obviously girls are starting their periods younger and younger. Several factors contribute this: better nutrition (as compared, say, to the 1800s) all the way around the circle back to poor nutrition and an excess of fat; and something that freaks me out completely -- an "excess of estrogen in the environment". The average age is like 11 or 12 now and falling toward 9 or 10 by 2015 according to several articles posted at the Museum of Menstruation (who knew there even was one?!)

I totally get that if younger and younger girls are starting their periods that pads and tampon companies are going to market to them. It seems like they are making a (somewhat pathetic ) attempt to make it fun and cool and all peppermint candies and downloadable (period themed?) ringtones for girls only, but they miss that mark completely and the overall feeling is that you should treat your period like a dirty little secret and they encourage an underlying hatred of this function by "swearing not to tell anyone!" and having a place to post "period horror stories". Just to be clear, I am realistic about the drag of having a period and I am not suggesting that we build bonfires and eat Luna bars and dance naked under the full moon in a sisterhood menstrual frenzy, but I do know that the way society looks at the biological functions of women has a lot to do with how we are treated and valued and how we treat and value ourselves.

What bothers me most is that starting the self-hatred training so young is a tragedy and SUCH a missed opportunity for this company to be on the right side of bringing girls up to be strong, smart and confident and comfortable with their bodies. Personal Products Inc. (the makers of o.b. the tampon "made by a woman gynecologist",) is the one who should be ashamed, not the little dog who has her period.

Go here to tell o.b. what you think of "obie."

Oh Yeah....

I met Paul Newman on Friday. Holy crap! He came into 826 on Friday with Dave Eggers and his friend Stewart Stern (who wrote Rebel Without a Cause, if you're interested) and we visited for 3 hours. He and Stewart got Space Competency Certified and when they left they gave us all hugs goodbye!
Wow. This is Justin Space Competency Certifying him, which included making him make animal noises.

Camp Finance NorthWest!

I went to camp yesterday. We didn't make macaroni pictures or sing songs or learn to canoe, but instead we talked about the exciting world of Nonprofit Finance Management. Wooooo! The one thing that I want to write about is that I really, really, really don't want to be like my colleagues in the nonprofit finance world. They are dumpy, annoying, grouchy, unaware and boring. Jesus, people get a life.

That said, except for the whining lesbian who had to tell me all about how she was forced to come, didn't want to be there, wasn't going to learn anything, etc. etc.; the high-waistband nerd who talked incessantly about his particular situation that has nothing to do with the rest of the group taking the seminar; and the other guy who complained multiple times about how high the (standard conference center-sized as near as I could tell) chairs were from the floor because of his short legs(!), it was interesting and informative and I would go back and do it again for the wide and tasty variety of snacks that were offered throughout the day: Tims chips, cookies, a fridge full of juices and soda and water, jelly beans, etc. In the breakfast buffet, they even had a waffle bar. Suh-weet.