Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Matt Lauer is a fucking asshole

Jeesus fucking christ I HATE him! Why do I watch the Today show in the morning? I don't fucking know! He and Katie "I Heart My Colon" Couric can both go to fucking hell. Gawd!

Here's the thing: every fucking day there is something on that stupid fucking show that pisses me off. I have it on every morning and every morning I get mad, without fail! It's like I have to keep watching it to see if they will ever not piss me the fuck off!

Here's what happened today.

Matt has an interview with 5 members of the Compact which is a group dedicated to spending a year without buying anything new. Matt has them on the couch and he is treating them like they are from fucking Mars or something. He can't fuck believe that they are all wearing "second hand" clothing? "Can I assume that everything you are wearing is not NEW???" He asks, incredulous. He doesn't tell them that his suits are hand-made by baby monkeys in Indonesia and only worn for a matter of three hours before they are incinerated and the ashes dumped in a fresh-water stream.

"And what is the hardest part?" As if they have all been struggling with this mind-boggling decision, every minute. "Some of you must have kids who want a....Nintendo?" They tell him they aren't buying their kids a Nintendo for one year. He can't believe it. He hasn't gone a year without a new Nintendo since the early 90s.

His big fucking joke is right after one of the Compact members says that part of the agreement is trying to resist the media's pressure to buy things to make you feel better. "Hold on, while we go to a commercial break," laughs Matt. No one on the couch realizes he is joking. He has to say, "I'm just kidding." They they all laugh falsely.

His last hard-hitting question goes like this: "So when this is all over, are you guys going to, like, go on a major binge?" I wish I was kidding. Completely missing the fuck point that this is about learning to do without consumerism and buying is a drug that we need to wean ourselves from and these people are HAPPY about not buying things, you fucking idiot! Jeesus... Fuck! You fucking asshole. I hate you Matt Lauer.

10 comments:

Donkey Patrol said...

I couldn't agree with you more on several points!

1) Matt Lauer totally blows. Nothing he says, no matter how serious or how "insightful" will ever bring credibility to his daily TV disaster which you and I call "Good Morning America". It should be called "good Morning America, Goodbye Brain Cells"

2) The commercialization and oversaturation of society with things that "we neeeeeeeed" is absolutely mindbogglingly deplorable. I am canceling my cable just because I can't stand being bombarded with advertisements for things that I don't need every 3.5 minutes. It's insane.

Good work on the blog! Keep up the rants!

Anonymous said...

Matt Lauer has got to be the biggest bimbo I have ever had the misfortune of watching. It never fails, everyday he makes an inappropriate comment. Most of the time they are offensive and irresponsible, not to mention idiotic. Who let this guy on tv?

Anonymous said...

Matt Lauer sucks it long and sucks it hard. His brain is a black hole that engulfs all common sense within a radius of 5 miles and he emits a fart stink out of his festering gob that has a half-life of 200 years.

Anonymous said...

::raises his hand:: I hate him

Anonymous said...

I googled "I hate Matt Lauer" and was happy to see I'm not the only one who thinks he is the biggest douchebag on TV.

Anonymous said...

I hate Matt Lauer. He is the biggest narcissist on TV and that's saying a lot with all the other narcissists we are forced to see every day.

Anonymous said...

Matt luer is I negative attacking arogant moran! He sucks and he was especially rude to vp Biden when asking how Pres. Obama is going to make change incenuatin pres. Obama has done nothing when Obama was managing hostage take over just before his speech Obama has done more in 3 years than Bush did in 8 years. Matt Lauer is an ignorant NUT and its time for his stupid butt to leave today show because he is affecing the ratings. I won't be watching Today show any more and its a shame because I actually like the weather guy and Meredith honestly left because she wants no part of Matt and that's the truth. Meredith said it was family but she will b back on tv with a different role or company in the future! Just watch. Today needs to get rid of Matt ASAP if they want to stay in buiness.

Anonymous said...

Matt Lauer and The Morning show is ridiculous. He isn't a Journalist. He is a bought and paid for monkey. What an idiot. Oh well, he will wake -up on his death bed and go Oh My God, what have I done!

Anonymous said...

He gets rid of everbody even his wife and kids. He can't get rid of Al because they need a black token. His day is comming poor Ann Curry and Meredith Vieira. I wish Ryan Seacrest kicks his butt.

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